Since everyone likes to think they’re so deep with the crap they put on Facebook, I decided to give it a shot. I decided to write 100 things about myself. Surprisingly hard.

I am me. I am not short, but there are many taller than I am. I am a skinny white kid. I am darker than most people think, but not in the way that most people think. I am myopic. I am not shortsighted. I have good night vision. I am sometimes completely blind. I don’t not shave because I’m going for a “look”. I don’t shave because I’m lazy. I genuinely do not care about my appearance. I do care about how I feel about myself. I do care about how others feel about me. I can’t touch my nose with my tongue. I wear what I want. I don’t wear what you wear. I don’t wear what you don’t wear. I make my own decisions. I don’t make decisions based on commercials and media. I don’t make decisions based against commercials and media. I judge music based on it’s own merits. I don’t like “that new band”. I don’t like “that new band” because everybody else likes it. I don’t not like “that new band” because everybody else likes it. I walk my own path in life. I won’t go where everyone else is going. I won’t not go where everyone else is going because everyone else is going there. I enjoy possessions more than money. I know what having feels like. I know what loss feels like. I have some thoughts which are beyond comprehension outside my head. I can’t express my thoughts in words. I am simple. I seek happiness. I like a good time. I like good fun and bad fun. I mean it when I say I’m not thinking about anything. I have no rhyme nor reason – I do something because I want to. I like to think up elaborate stories in my head, but I never write them down. I am selfish, just like everyone else. I am complex, just like everyone else. I can’t see myself in 20 years. I can’t see myself in 5 years. I can’t see myself tomorrow. I don’t write poetry. I write thoughts. I don’t quote song lyrics to appear “deep” or “thoughtful”. I quote song lyrics because I want to. I don’t seek revenge. I don’t get angry. I don’t find pleasure in pain. I don’t find pleasure in the pain of others. I am happy when others are happy, and satisfied when others are satisfied. I lie to help others. I don’t hate those who hate me. I don’t hate those who love me. I don’t hate those who don’t love me back. I don’t hate. I love the military and military technology. I don’t love war. I support our troops, but not those who misled them. I am rational. I dislike irrational people. I think Ann Coulter is the most despicable person on the planet. I think people who ignore or deny climate change are as intelligent as a potato. I don’t think the free market should be allowed to rule the world. I think people should stop to think about what they think once in a while. I appreciate what religion has done for us historically. I think the time for religion has passed. I appreciate the finer things. I appreciate the finer things, but not just because everyone else thinks they do too. I like music. I like a wide variety of music. I like loud music. I dislike autotuned crap. I like good cheese. I think bacon should be a food group. I like technology that makes our lives better. I am irritated by people who misuse technology. I am irritated by people who actively disrupt the evolution of technology. I am irritated by people who actively disrupt the evolution of our species. I hope for a better future for everybody. I hope the past was not the best thing that ever happened to everybody. I don’t live in the past. I don’t live in the future. I live in the present. I learned to understand when I was very young. I will understand to learn until I am old. I sometimes say things I don’t mean to. I sometimes don’t say things I mean to. I sometimes speak without talking. I sometimes talk without speaking. I am not as crazy as you think I am. I am far weirder than you think I am. I am different than you in every way. I am better than you in every way. I am the same as you in every way. I am worse than you in every way. I am me. Deal with it, motherfucker.

I decided that ending with “Deal with it” sounded incredibly emo/depressed/scene/whateverthefuck/{they’re all the same anyway}, so I added profanity to lighten the mood.